2022 NFL Predictions

Last year I accurately predicted a Super Bowl winner. Am I that good again?

Last year, I accurately(!) predicted that the Los Angeles Rams would win the Super Bowl.

Then again I also predicted that the Browns would go to the Super Bowl. Right division. Right state. Wrong team.

This year, the Arizona Cardinals will try to become the third straight host team to win the Super Bowl, following the Bucs and the Rams. Can they? We’ll find out, together.

NFC EAST

1. Dallas

2. Philadelphia

3. Washington

4. New York

This division has really been living up to the NFC Least nickname. Honestly, there are no good teams in the division. It just so happens that somebody, by rule, has to win and gets to host a playoff game. The Cowboys went 12-5 last year. They are not that good. They are not going to be much better than they were last year. They will again win the division and lose a first-round playoff game at home. The Commies can’t win because they will redistribute their wins to other teams.

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NFC NORTH

1. Green Bay

2. Chicago

3. Minnesota

4. Detroit

One of these years the bloom will fall off the rose in Green Bay and they won’t be good enough to win the division anymore. That year will not be this year. The Pack has won eight of the last eleven NFC North titles. Aaron Rodgers admitting that he’s taken hallucinogenic drugs in Peru won’t change that.

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The Bears probably will finally compete again once they get they get their new dome built. Maybe.

³

NFC NORTH

1. Tampa Bay

2. New Orleans

3. Carolina

4. Atlanta

Why is the NFC so bad? How can a 45-year old freak of nature dominate the division? Why would anybody trade for Baker Mayfield? When can we get the Falcons to change uniforms? How long before Saints leadership begs Sean Payton to come back? How far will Tampa Bay fall when Tom Brady is gone? Stay tuned.

They’re still hideous.

NFC WEST

1. Arizona

2. Los Angeles

3. San Francisco

4. Seattle

Look, the NFC West is the best division in the conference and it isn’t close. Three teams will make the playoffs from this division, and I would have said four if the Seahawks had not downgraded so much this offseason and were they not wearing their neon snot uniforms in Week 1.

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How about we not?

AFC EAST

1. Buffalo

2. New England

3. Miami

4. New York

Can you imagine if American football had relegation? By this point, the Jets would have been busted all the way down to the Empire League or something.

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Something that the Dolphins would probably hate because the Jets are the one outfit keeping the Dolphins from being the most dysfunctional team in the division.

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But until somebody proves they can win, this division will be Buffalo’s to lose.

AFC NORTH

1. Cincinnati

2. Baltimore

3. Pittsburgh

4. Cleveland

I would like to think that the Bengals will regress like Super Bowl losers often do, but I don’t think the division is so good that they will lose their place atop the division. The organizational structure of the Browns by the way should be burned to the ground based on their moronic decision to trade for Deshaun Watson. I’m afraid the Ravens will be distracted all year by Lamar Jackson’s contract situation.

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The Steelers are starting Mitch Trubisky at quarterback, which sounds like a team that knows it’s not their year.

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AFC SOUTH

1. Tennessee

2. Indianapolis

3. Jacksonville

4. Houston

It’s easier to pick a winner in a division where only two teams have a shot of winning it. I picked Tennessee mainly because Derrick Henry is a beast and because Indianapolis is rolling with Matt Ryan at quarterback. Anybody who has watched the Jaguars the last five years should not be surprised by the issues All Elite Wrestling is having right now.

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I’m not convinced anybody in the Texans organization has watched football before.

¹⁰

AFC WEST

1. Kansas City

2. Los Angeles

3. Denver

4. Las Vegas

The Cadillac division in the Cadillac conference of the NFL. The Chiefs are the team to beat until somebody proves that they can beat them

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, having won six division titles in a row. All of these teams will probably finish around .500 or above this year and it would not surprise me if all four teams make the playoffs from this division. Denver made the biggest leap in the offseason by mortgaging their future to get Russell Wilson.

¹²

It better work, for their sake.

NFC PLAYOFF SEEDING

1. Tampa Bay (S)

2. Arizona (W)

3. Green Bay (N)

4. Dallas (E)

5. Los Angeles (WC)

6. San Francisco (WC)

7. Philadelphia (WC)

NFC PLAYOFFS
Wild-Card Round

• # 2 Arizona def. # 7 Philadelphia

• # 3 Green Bay def. # 6 San Francisco

• # 5 Los Angeles def. # 4 Dallas

Divisional Round

• # 1 Tampa Bay def. # 5 Los Angeles

• # 2 Arizona def. # 3 Green Bay

NFC Championship

• # 1 Tampa Bay def. # 2 Arizona

AFC PLAYOFF SEEDING

1. Buffalo (E)

2. Kansas City (W)

3. Tennessee (S)

4. Cincinnati (N)

5. Los Angeles (WC)

6. New England (WC)

7. Baltimore (WC)

AFC PLAYOFFS

Wild-Card Round

• # 2 Kansas City def. #7 Baltimore

• # 3 Tennessee def. # 6 New England

• # 5 Los Angeles def. # 4 Cincinnati

Divisional Round

• # 5 Los Angeles def. # 1 Buffalo

• # 2 Kansas City def. # 3 Tennessee

AFC Championship

• # 2 Kansas City def. # 5 Los Angeles

SUPER BOWL LVII

• Kansas City def. Tampa Bay

1. Not my fault they gave their team a stupid name that could be easily abbreviated.

2. I wish Hunter S. Thompson was alive to see this.

3. Fun fact: the first indoor NFL Game was played in Chicago in 1932.

4. The entire Seahawks uniform set is trash. But neon snot is particularly offensive.

5. This is a random aside, but Welcome to Wrexham is awesome.

6. Sorry Father Keanu.

7. And the injury bug this team can’t escape.

8. Not saying the Steelers should send Kenny Pickett to the wolves. But Trubisky? Really?

9. At least with the Jaguars I have a better sense of what’s a work and what’s a shoot.

10. If any team needed a Vice-President of Common Sense, it’s Houston. I don’t care how much they fleeced the Browns in the Watson deal.

11. “No shit”- Captain Obvious

12. Seriously. The Broncos traded Noah Fant, Drew Lock, and Shelby Harris, PLUS the 9th overall pick this year(Chase Cross) PLUS a 2022 2nd round pick PLUS their 1st and 2nd round picks in 2023 for Wilson and a 4th rounder. Russell Wilson turns 34 in November.