I have a hard time remembering what I did in 1990. Let’s be honest, most of us don’t have total recall of everything we did 30 years ago. Movies were still movies, but they were very different than today in some ways. There were no major superhero movies. Not even one. No Star Wars, no Star Trek, no major Disney movie, no Pixar movie, and only one and a half action blockbusters. Looking back at the last year, the most memorable movies were 1 off mid-level budget dramas, something that almost can’t be made today. It also introduced us to the idea that sequels mostly suck. We already had an idea that sequels COULD be bad. We endured sequels like Caddyshack II, Grease II, and numerous bad Jaws movies. But the idea of churning out dud sequels with bad scripts and lousy acting to con moviegoers out of their money was still more like an accident than a plan. Back then we also had Aliens, Empire Strikes Back, Beverly Hills Cop 2, Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, and Superman 2 as points of reference. At this point, filmgoers were mostly trained to show up if the good fellas who made a movie you like had the bright idea to continue the journey. But just like the dissonant minor theme appearing midway through a trailer, the tremors of 1990 begin to shake and sequel misery quickly set in.
Sequels sound like a great idea. Your first movie was great! Everybody loved it! You are a genius! Why not fire up the recipe again (or even worse, a third time). Team your handsome leading man with a pretty woman or a femme Nikita, recycle the script (it will be easy, it’s half-written!) and let it rip. It will definitely work. People like the last one and will just show up. Except, a lot of the time, it doesn’t. At this point, Hollywood had an awakenings and decided to cash in its chips and take advantage of all that good will that had built up from those legendary sequels to take advantage of everyone. Don’t believe me? It doesn’t take Edward Scissorhands to carve us this group of flatliners:
The Godfather part III
Back to the Future Part III
Predator 2
Die Hard 2
Rocky V
Robo Cop 2
Young Guns 2
Childs Play 2
The Neverending Story 2 (should have seen this one coming)
Gremlins 2
Look Who’s Talking Too
The Rescuers Down Under
The Exorcist III
Whoa, it’s like a Jacob’s ladder of my nightmares. This is like a Lord of the Flies situation where they are all fighting for the conch shell of watch-ability. First of all, this list includes several movies that you could argue are the most disappointing sequels ever. Rocky 5, Predator 2 and Godfather III are often mentioned as either the biggest sequel disappointment or at least in the top 10. Rocky V was the first, and (since the new ones were shockingly good) only, bad Rocky movie. Godfather III literally introduced the concept that the third movie in trilogies is consistently bad (Rise of Skywalker being the latest in a long line).
Now the chances are that most of you like at least one of these movies. I could see an argument for Back to the Future part III, Die Hard 2, or maybe Gremlins 2. These movies are relatively watchable (I would take Die Hard 2). But they definitely aren’t great. With Back to the Future and Die Hard, these films followed LEGENDARY films. Die Hard was the action film action films since then are based on. Back to the Future is still immensely popular nearly 40 years later. Die Hard 2 was fine, but it lacked the tension and humor of the original, had several stunts that aren’t even remotely possible, and settled into being another forgettable action film that blends in with a thousand others since (and it is nowhere near the second best Christmas movie of all time). It also started the sad trend of every Die Hard movie being worse than the one before it. Back to the Future III was so boring I turned it off. I still don’t remember how it ends. The year in film was a disaster for the most part, and I feel very confident saying that since we let that cry baby Kevin Costner win best picture.
Hollywood had overplayed their hand and they knew it. For the first time people realized that sequels were probably not going to be as good as the original, and almost certainly not better. The ghost of 1990 carried into 1991. Film studios put the brakes on sequelitis. Only one major sequel was released that year: Terminator 2. Terminator 2 is one of the greatest sequels of all time. How great? It lead to this…
the greatest meme in history.
We can safely assume the glory of Terminator 2 was an act of contrition to keep the American public from staying home alone every time they released a sequel. It worked. America quickly slipped back into its comfort zone of repeatedly watching Mike Myers do stuff while backlit, Batman experimenting with Bat Nipples and a Batman based credit card, and Jan De Bont send a boat slowly crashing into a dock for 25 million (1997) dollars (Father Keanu derides any attempt to sequel without his namesake). So while we wait for Kevin Costner to Dances with Wolves again, Kindergarten Cop’s return (good luck with that) or The Hunt for Red October to continue unabated, we can rest uneasy knowing even Disney figured out to stop VODing their sequels and started shoving so many Star Wars movies down our throat that arachnophobia sets in. I’m sure Hollywood is done with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles though. Some of us still remember that lesson from 1990 however, and I know that I will often skip sequels to movies I like if I suspect that it will be a dud. There are many examples of this, but my most recent is Zombieland 2. I just can’t live with the thought of it ruining the first one that I loved so much. It is so tempting, though, to bite at a redux of a movie you loved so much. The next time you feel the urge, remember how you will feel after: