The Runback: 🎄Presents Under the Tree🎄, 2022 Edition
What should people be getting this Christmas? Let's find out
Welcome to another week of The Runback. Have you been enjoying The Duckpin? Do you have comments or suggestions? Do you want to write for us? Let me know at theduckpin@gmail.com. And please be sure to follow on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Thanks in advance.
News and Politics
The Perils of Prisoner Exchanges: They perfectly illustrate an ages-old philosophical debate.
The Biggest of All Snowflakes: In life there are three constants; death, taxes, and Gordana Schifanelli always blaming somebody else
How Low Can He Go? Donald Trump is selling NFT's? What, reverse mortgages were too classy?
Puerto Rico Deserves Its Up Or Out Vote: I have long supported Puerto Rican statehood. But residents deserve this binding vote on statehood or independence.
Sports
The Weirdest College Football Hire: Texas A&M-Commerce hires a coach from what's practically another sport.
An Open Letter to the Boston Red Sox: From a fan who wants to believe
Chet Gladchuk Doing A Disservice to Navy Football: Is the Naval Academy only teaching one style of naval tactics? No, so why is Chet Gladchuk committed to one style of offense?
I Made This, It’s Funny, and You Should Watch It
Programming Note
There will be no edition of The Runback sent next Monday. Enjoy the time off. Sleep off your Christmas. Watch soccer, whatever.
The Monday Thought
We’re six days away from Christmas and it’s time to start thinking about Christmas presents! Like 2020 and 2021, let’s talk about some of the things that certain public figures should find under the tree this year?
Two of the things I correctly suggested last year actually happened:
For socialists running for office in Maryland: lots of tissues, for them to wipe their eyes on primary election night as they cry into their soy faux vegan lattes again.
For Maryland Men’s Basketball: A good coach that actually wants to be here.
A third was close
For fast pitch wiffle ball across the country; a spot on ESPN’s The Ocho Day
I say that the third one was close because wiffle ball did make The Ocho Day coverage, but it was most certainly not one of the top leagues, nor was it fast pitch.1
Now, on to this year’s list!
For Ex-President Donald Trump: a therapist to help him in his time of need as he fades from the public stage;
For Governor Larry Hogan: an advisor on your Presidential campaign staff that will keep expectations realistic;
For Dan Cox: A tune-up on his car so he can chase those ambulances efficiently;
For Gordana Schifanelli: a year’s supply of aluminum foil, so she can make a new tin-foil hat for every conspiracy she dreams up during the new year;
For all of the “MDGOP Unity Slate” members talking about forming a new “Patriot Party”: the brown shirts you so desperately want to wear;
For Governor-Elect Wes Moore: A plaque containing Article III, Section 52, Paragraph 5a of the State Constitution2
For Republican members of the Maryland General Assembly: a 90-day supply of ibuprofen with all of the headaches that they’ll get from the Democratic supermajority they will have to deal with;
For Ravens offensive coordinator Greg Roman: a one-way ticket out of Baltimore;
For House Republican Leader Kevin McCarthy; to at least be forced to sit through two Speaker of the House votes;
For everybody involved in “Yellowstone”: finally getting the Emmy this show rightly deserves;3
For everybody invested in the drama over Elon Musk’s ownership of Twitter: a life;4
For me; hopefully that Sheetz I’ve been promised;
For Alex Mooney: a carpetbag so he can try to get elected in another state once he loses the West Virginia U.S. Senate primary;
For Baltimore Activists: low expectations on the Red Line;5
For the Patriots offense: having to watch the play for all eternity6
For your, our readers: I wish you nothing but health and peace as we celebrate the birth of our Lord this Christmas season.
Yes, I know AWA Wiffle claims to have the most YouTube followers. But they don’t hold a candle to the competition at MAW, United Wiffle, Premier League, or a few other leagues out there.
“The Budget and the Budget Bill as submitted by the Governor to the General Assembly shall have a figure for the total of all proposed appropriations and a figure for the total of all estimated revenues available to pay the appropriations, and the figure for total proposed appropriations shall not exceed the figure for total estimated revenues. Neither the Governor in submitting an amendment or supplement to the Budget Bill nor the General Assembly in amending the Budget Bill shall thereby cause the figure for total proposed appropriations to exceed the figure for total estimated revenues, including any revisions, and in the Budget Bill as enacted the figure for total estimated revenues always shall be equal to or exceed the figure for total appropriation.”
Not only has “Yellowstone” not even been nominated for an Emmy, but it’s also won exactly ONE award during its run: for “Outstanding Achievement in Sound Mixing for Television Series – One Hour “ at the Cinema Audio Society Awards. That’s criminal.
My position on Twitter banning people remains the same as it was before; ownership can make whatever rules they want. Of course, I’m about one-half of one percent of the people on Twitter considering everybody switched sides on who can do what once Musk bought Twitter. We live in the dumbest timeline.
Governor Hogan was right to cancel it and the federal money is never coming back;
Don’t know about you, but I lost a parlay on that play