It’s time for the 2021-2022 NFL season preview season to get underway. That means all of your favorite publications will be launching their in depth breakdowns of each team, previewing their upcoming schedules, and reviewing their additions and subtractions. For many of you, it is an exciting time where you want to know all about your team and the teams they will face. It’s a lot though, right? I mean, we are busy people. If you are a parent, you instantly have somewhere between 1-12 full time jobs. We don’t all have time to read about the Rams plan for 3rd and long in the red zone. So that is where the ZeNFL preview comes in. It is the only NFL preview set to haiku. It is also the fastest NFL preview out there for the football fan on the go. So no more dickin’ around, let’s get right to it.
AFC East:
The matchups are tough.
Pats and Dolphins are better.
Bills still at the top.
Buffalo Bills:
Josh Allen is great.
The defense is also good.
Can they pass the Chiefs?
Miami Dolphins:
Their players are green
But starting to develop.
They could be a threat.
New England Patriots:
The hoodie will rise
By spending all the money.
Money doesn’t buy wins.
New York Jets:
The Gase is now closed.
There is a lingering scent.
It’s a bad roster.
AFC North:
When the cold winds blow
The football wheat will be threshed.
The Browns are not chaff.
Cleveland Browns:
The jokes have all ceased,
and what’s left is a pounding
That others receive.
Baltimore Ravens:
The offense was worse
But it can still get better.
The line is the key.
Cincinnati Bengals:
Slowly they’re building
Something that is not putrid.
KEEP BURROW SAFE PLEASE.
Pittsburgh Steelers:
They never rebuild,
But behind that weak O-line
Big Ben might make them.
AFC South:
The Jags got Meyer.
Colts and Titans got better.
Pray for the Texans
Tennessee Titans:
Julio comes to
Fix the defensive issues.
Wait, he’s a wideout?
Indianapolis Colts:
The Wentz was so bad
He could be had for nothing,
And now he is hurt
Jacksonville Jaguars:
Urban Meyer knows
Nothing about the pro game.
I’m sure it’ll be fine(d).
Houston Texans:
The burden of pain
Comes for us all in this life.
Today in Houston.
AFC West:
The mighty fight starts.
Each team takes their QB sword.
Broncos choose noodle.
Kansas City Chiefs:
Their O-line was bad
but they fixed up their O-line.
Good luck to the West.
Los Angeles Chargers:
Their coach was so bad
They had the worst Special Teams EVER.
They have a new coach.
Denver Broncos:
Can you win ten games
If you don’t have a QB?
My guess is ummmmm… no.
Las Vegas Raiders:
They trade offense for
D then back each offseason.
Shuffle the deck chairs.
NFC East:
One of these four teams
Just has to be good this year
Right? Amirite? No?
Washington Football Team:
Another year here
But they still have no name yet.
Fitzy cleanses all.
Dallas Cowboys:
If they can just get
A semblance of a defense
and a decent coach…
NY Giants:
They will get as far
As Daniel Jones can take them
Out of New Jersey?
Philadelphia Eagles
Jalen Hurts can’t throw.
Their line can’t block anyone.
How can they score points?
NFC North:
Rodgers says he’s out.
If that is true anyone
but Lions can win.
Green Bay Packers
Aaron is back now
And all is forgiven too.
Except that field goal.
Minnesota Vikings
Cousins plus the Cook,
Thielen and their Jefferson
Can’t play defense too.
Chicago Bears
Khalil Mack is back.
How soon can they win games though?
When Fields takes the field.
Detroit Lions
Pain is endemic
To the human condition.
To err is Lion.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Tompa time has come
And Bay denizens rejoice.
This season’s gravy.
New Orleans Saints
Brees gone, so they pray:
Jameis this day our daily bread…
Hill Mary full of grace…
Atlanta Falcons
Kyle Pitts has come in
Julio Jones has gone out
Each gain costs more here.
Carolina Panthers
Yes, Darnold had mono.
Problem isn’t his catches though,
it’s that he can’t throw.
NFC West
This group is loaded.
Bizzaro NFC East.
Survival is hard.
LA Rams
They freed Matt Stafford
From the den of the lions
Now the pressure comes.
San Francisco 49ers
Explorers of old
Searched for fountains of healing
Kyle’ll take a trickle.
Arizona Cardinals
The Cards signed up vets
Like age is just a number.
Aging is real though.
Seattle Seahawks
Discontent stagnates
the heart of a champion,
Let alone this group.