The shortest NFL preview on the internet is back, and SO. AM. I. Each year I take a look at the NFL teams that are out there and do a quick assessment. How are they doing? Where are they headed? And I ask myself, how could I condense that into a Haiku? Here are the results.
Buffalo Bills
Through snow and sleet and
gloom of night, Josh Allen is there.
Is the defense though?
Miami Dolphins
Tua is the man.
Does the man have a plan?
But this shouldn’t rhyme
New England Patriots
Who’s coaching offense?
The coaches won’t tell us who.
I’m guessing no one.
NY Jets
Zach Wilson might like
Older ladies in the night.
What’s he like by day?
Cincinnati Bengals
Burrow is back with
All of his bluster and charm
Can lightening strike twice?
Pittsburgh Steelers
Big Ben is now gone
Are defenses now safer?
Local women are.
Baltimore Ravens
Can Lamar throw well?
Maybe? It’s true he is great.
But can he get help?
Cleveland Browns
OK, what the hell Browns. I LOVE Cleveland (the city). Why on earth would you shit on the community of women you live in to bring in a piece of trash like Deshaun Watson? To win a few more games? GTFOH. I hope he gets suspended for the rest of the season by Goodell. This might be the only time I am actually rooting for Roger Fucking Goodell. That’s where you’ve left me. I have to root for the Browns to lose every game instead of quietly wishing they would catch a break for once. Damn you.
Tennessee Titans
So Tannehill might
Not be so great after all.
Dolphins fans get it.
Indianapolis Colts
Wentz out, Ryan in.
That bodes well for the season.
Won’t fix the defense.
Houston Texans
Is Davis Mills for real?
If so what a steal he is.
They just need 21 more.
Jacksonville Jaguars
Is moving past Urban
That big of a deal for them?
Yes. Why yes it is.
Kansas City Chiefs
Does Tyreek mean more
Or is Mahomes the whole key.
I’m guessing Tyreek.
Las Vegas Raiders
Davante Adams
Is here to shrink Carr’s burden
Raiders are sneaky.
Los Angeles Chargers
The defense is bad
The coaching still might be worse.
Can Herbert overcome?
Denver Broncos
Russ has arrived here
With clichés by the minute.
Is he still Russ tho?
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